December 2016, I joined the platform called Beam to support a friend of mine. He encouraged me to check out other streamers, and told me that I'd fall in love with the community, and I did.

One month later, I found myself at a crossroad when I left my previous job as a designer, because I no longer felt passion for what I did. I lost confidence in that role, and as a result, lost a part of my identity. At the same time, I had fully immersed myself in Beam, acting as moderator for several channels, and spending almost all of my time on it. Despite being depressed, and uncertain about my situation, being a part of the Beam community helped me feel engaged and lifted.

This community and the friends I made from it, were what encouraged me to give streaming a try. I went into it tentatively, not promising any schedules, and told myself I was going to be extremely casual about it. I treated it as a new learning opportunity and aptly labeled myself as a "newbie" streamer.

As I continued to stream, I built up a community of viewers who mainly carry positivity and sometimes a little bit of trouble. Through them I found real conversations and support. The conversations and company kept me smiling, laughing, and continuing to stream. Eventually, I had the opportunities to collaborate with other streamers to do amazing things, such as a week-long event that raised $10,347 for charity.

That's when I became certain about why I streamed. I don't stream to show off the latest games or display my skills. I stream for the people, the interaction, and the community that I've found on Beam. Day after day, the conversations that happen between me and my viewers educate, delight, and move me. I feel a genuine human connection with them, and I continue to be humbled and grateful for the fact that they choose to spend their time with me, watching my silly antics or listening to my off-topic obsessive discussions about food. In me, they find a sense of joy, acceptance, and entertainment that I strive to continually provide.

When I first entered the field of design, my purpose was "to help others find their voice, and be the platform for their message." I thought I would find it in advertising and branding, and I did for a while, but when I left the field, my work was no longer fulfilling. I had lent others my skills and expertise, and although some of my ideas came into fruition, I ultimately felt like a pair of hands. I realize my goal wasn't to just create platforms for other people's purposes. My purpose was actually "to find my own voice, and help others find theirs." I truly believe that what I am doing now as a streamer, moderator, and member of this online community called Beam is helping me fulfill that. Streaming has not only helped me regain some confidence as a designer, it also helped me find the bravery to speak with my own voice. I hope to inspire and help others do the same by sharing my journey.

Disregarding whether or not I can make a career out of streaming, I know it will remain a big part of my life. I was told by other professionals that I needed to have a passion project, something that helps me fulfill my purpose, and I strongly believe that streaming is mine. I also know that I find a lot of joy and satisfaction in helping others find theirs, whether it's streaming or pursuing another hobby... but that topic will be for another post 🙂